Leighton Hubbell - Illustrative Designer

Here's what we mean:

1) Looking for a date – You sound desperate for work–you attract the wrong crowd.
2) First date – Meet with potential new client, share all the info, they're excited about the project, all is good - you never hear from them again.
3) The first call – When do you call after a good first meeting? Right away, or do you wait a week?
4) First kiss – So much joy, you just can't contain it, you have to tell someone.
5) The thrill is gone – Both client and freelancer start out very excited about each other. 3 weeks and 3 proofs later, it's so over.
6) Playing hard to get – Is it bad to be screening calls and texts?
7) Insecurity and butterflies – I sent over the work over two hours ago, is there something wrong?
8) Courting process – So we met online, when should I send over a picture?
9) Not showing their photo online – I looked on their website, but they didn't show any work. Hmm.
10) The borderline stalker - The e-mail message time code says 3:00 a.m. It's somebody who works 24/7, and doesn't know professional boundaries. Run away!
11) They seem clingy – They keep throwing you work, hoping you'll accept a full time offer.
12) You seem clingy – Calling almost weekly trolling for some work.
13) One night stand – Working on an extremely short project for a really long day – get paid and never hear from them again.
14) Seeing someone else – You know, they're just using you for the comps!
15) Feeling needy – It seemed like it went well, so why don't they call?
16) Feeling cheated on – Why did they go with that art director? He's not so hot...
17) Things are going well – Has it been a month already?
18) Things are not going well – Ugh, am I here until Friday?!
19) The booty call – Hate working with them, but could use the cash.
20) Stuck in the relationship – Took the full-time position, then after a little while missed your freedom.
21) Got someone on the side – Took the full-time position, then freelance work started rolling in.
22) Feeling used – You know, they just want you for the comps!
23) Dating the bad boy – Embarrassed to tell your friends you're working with someone who treats you bad.
24) Did we break up? – Why don't they call? I haven't heard from them in months.
25) It's not you, it's me – Working with someone until the next better gig comes along.
26) Don't have the guts to break up with you – Keep telling you to call back in a couple of weeks.
27) Fashionably aloof – If you sound busy, you must be talented and attractive.
28) Double dipping – Can't turn down the work, so you're working with two agencies at the same time.
29) He's just not that into you – Getting the 'opt-out' message after sending several promotional e-mails to someone you'd love to work with.
30) Will you marry me? – Quick with the job offer.
31) Not the marrying type – Serial freelancer that can't be held down.
32) She's kinda cute – It's all in the marketing. Someone very talented misses out sometimes, if another one markets themselves better.
33) Don't rush in too fast - Take things slow no need to rush straight into using Comic Sans. Get to know me a little first...
34) Coyote ugly – Cashing the check, but never showing or mentioning the work ever again.
35) Don't call me - The feel of disgust and/or rejection after an extremely brief interview/meeting.
36) Stood up – The half-hour–plus time you spend waiting in the lobby waiting for the CD to finally meet with you – then needs to reschedule.
37) Shotgun wedding – Client you don't know that well needs you to rush through a major project and complete it in record time. Also see: Coyote ugly.
38) Blind date – Getting an on-site gig with someone you've never met, but needs you right away whether or not you do that kind of work. Also see: Things are not going well.
39) Matchmaker – A vendor friend of yours that's always setting you up with someone. Also see: Blind date.
40) Meat market – The freelance website resources.
41) Transitional relationship – Trying to take the place of a recently departed creative person, but are forced into trying to mimic their style and work ethic.
42) Speed dating – Showing up for an interview/meeting only to find out the client/agency knows nothing about you or your work.
43) Are we a couple? – Waiting to see if you got the long-term contract.
44) Tease – Someone that keeps saying they want to work with you, but never calls for work.
45) Trophy date – Asking for you to act like you work for the agency for the big pitch and/or photo shoot.
46) Celibacy – Little or nothing going on with work.
47) Going to the free clinic – Feeling dirty after working with a client that seems like a less than ethical business.
48) Lives with Mom – Freelancer that won't let go of a client, even though the relationship is smothering.
49) Beer goggles – An agency that looked good at the awards show party, but changed significantly after you started working there.
50) I think it's love – Working with a dream client or agency that respects your abilities and opinions and doesn't crowd your work style.

Special thanks for all the contributions from the Twitterati: @Logomotives, @cobaltcow, @penflare, @mhoehner, @downwithdesign